Sunday, July 26, 2009

Chemo has started

Mom started chemo last Friday, she was in the hospital for 8 1/2 hours. Considering that she started the day out with a dose of radiation and then sat in one place for the next 7 hours with toxic chemicals being poored into her body, she did well. It is now Sunday morning and she is starting to feel the side effects. She is VERY nauseous and the swelling in her throat is not allowing her to eat solids. She is cranky and wants to be left alone. I feel so helpless...........
Her doctor prescribed anti-naseu pills which cost (are you ready for this one) $1,300 for a one month supply. She chose to only buy 10 at a time hoping she can squeeze through without having to spend the money. Considering how today is going I think she will find the money and be living on those.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mom is on her 8th day of radiation, side effects are showing. She has a raspy voice and feels like there is a whole egg in her throat. The doctor says there is no lump in her throat, it is just a sensation. So, needless to say she cannot eat any solids because her gag reflexes pushes it back up. Thank god for those stupid protein shakes in which she is living on. Another side effect is she has an inflamed esophagus and stomach, also a predictable side affect. She has a constant upset stomach, also living on "Tums". They say that when the radiation is complete these symptoms will go away within two weeks. The chemo was moved to start this Friday morning. Very apprehensive. I am happy that I will be able to be home for the "day after" which is supposed to be the worst. Of course being my stubborn mom, she doesn't want me around to see her sick but I feel better knowing I will be here in case she needs me. I believe Sharon has set the auction for September 15th at Local Color. We splurged and bought a cheap recliner that vibrates where her back pain is, hopefully this will let her get some real sleep.

I will update all soon. Thank You again.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The worst day of my life

May 28th, 2009. I was in my car on my way back to work. My mom was waiting for the x-ray results today that would explain her tremendous back pain for the last two months. I called my mom and asked "have they called", she was a little to chipper. I knew something was wrong, she told me it turned out to be more complicated than just back pain. It was cancer. Cancer? What the hell are you talking about????

That was the worst day of my life.

My mom is my best friend in the whole world. She basically has been a second mother to my 14 year old son as all three of us have lived together for the past eleven years. She is the one I call to tell all of the little things that are going on during the day. I cannot imagine going one single day without her in my life.

It has been six weeks since that day. Mom has always been self employed and for various reasons does not have health insurance. It has been an incredible hardship and she still worries about her bills (at this point I could care less I just want her to get treatment). She found a wonderful social worker at the hospital who went to bat for her and got the "petscan" & MRI's covered. Everything seems to take so long when you don't have insurance. It is an eye opener for sure. Mom let me go to her appointment to hear what the results were. This hour topped "the worst day of my life". We were told she has liver and lung cancer. Even with treatment the average lifespan would be 14-15 months. The next week I could not stop crying no matter how hard I tried. I finally hit my wall and lost it, calling my mom in hysterics telling her that if she was not around I did not want to be a part of this world anymore. Now, that I look back on that conversation, my poor mom. She's trying to deal with her own emotions and here I come freaking out on her. Since that day, I realized that I can't think about her not being here next year I can only deal with today and tomorrow. I am going to do everything possible and beyond to be there for her and get her through this. My mom is a very independant person so this on it's own will be a challenge having ANYONE help her. Don't push me on this mom, you won't win this one. We will see.....

She started radiation last Monday, tomorrow will be her 6th session. She will continue on until 13 days of radiation is complete. In the middle of this she starts chemo this Wednesday. She had the port implanted for the chemo, it looks very strange and you can feel the tube running under her skin.

I feel I am a pretty wimpy person but there is no way that I am giving up on this one. Thanks for listening, talk to you soon.